Confidently Walking in the Wrong Direction: A Guide to Navigating Change with Jenn Quader
Hello, and welcome to Resiliency the Podcast, the place to find stories, strategies, and inspiration on how to embrace change, overcome challenges, and redefine resilience in today's ever evolving world. I am Asef Quater, executive producer, cocreator, and today's guest host for Resiliency the Podcast. I am joined by the world's first doctor of resiliency and international business consultant, doctor Kelly Colvert. Our show brings together a diverse group of individuals who inspire, educate, and motivate our audience to find their inner strength in everything from the inertia of everyday life to world altering problems. Thank you for joining us today.
Asef Quader:Boy, do we have a guest. I have to read all of her stuff because it's just too long. She is president and CEO of the PR and communications firm, The Smart Agency, a thirty year old company she acquired in 2018, that is now leading professional communication for commercial real estate and financial service companies in The United States. Her personal mission is to empower the next generation of confident communicators by sharing her voice in the global movement towards empathetic and human first business leadership. In her past, she has been a musical theater actress performing across The United States.
Asef Quader:She has a master's degree in global communications from American University of Paris, and a bachelor's in science in communications with a concentration in public relations from East Carolina University, where it is not in her bio, but she was valedictorian in both schools, and she is famous for never getting anything less than an A from kindergarten through her master's program at the American University of Paris.
Dr. Kelly Culver:Of course. Of course. It's true. It's very true. Of course.
Dr. Kelly Culver:Quelle surprise
Asef Quader:She is a veteran communicator honing her skills, working on behalf of major companies such as Fox MGM Entertainment, Ford Motor Company, Michelin, Mazda, and now specializes in commercial real estate. Today, in addition to leading her company, she is a poet, an author, a podcaster, and soon to be a recording artist with her debut album, love in all its forms, releasing in 2024. Please welcome my wife and your regular host, Jenn Quader.
Jenn Quader:Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. What a what a kind and wonderful and and overly honest introduction.
Asef Quader:Did did I butcher that enough for you?
Jenn Quader:No. It was beautiful. I would like to confirm that Yes. There were at least one or two of those that were negotiated a's, but we got there.
Asef Quader:A's an a.
Dr. Kelly Culver:An a is an a is an a. It doesn't matter.
Jenn Quader:A really good communicator. That's where we go.
Asef Quader:As it was said in the movie Fast and Furious, it doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile.
Jenn Quader:Praise. I like to win. And I'm delighted to be here, and what an amazing thing to be sitting in the guest seat today. So, thank you, Asef, for a beautiful introduction. You're a great guest host.
Jenn Quader:And Doctor. Kelly Culver, always wonderful to see you.
Dr. Kelly Culver:Well, it's lovely to see you as well. And this is a really interesting turn of events, turn of the screw. It's kind of cool, actually. And, I have to ask you, because we are a global podcast, where in the world are you today, Jenn?
Jenn Quader:So I sit in Southern California. My home office here is in Mission Viejo, which is in a beautiful part of the county. And then my regular office when I'm doing my PR work at the SMART agency is in Irvine, California.
Dr. Kelly Culver:Very good. Very good. Very good. I am sitting in Canada. Today is Canada Day.
Dr. Kelly Culver:It's the July 1, shortly to be, the July 4. And in honor of that, I'm wearing my red and blue dress, not just my red dress.
Asef Quader:But this
Dr. Kelly Culver:is an honor for you because blue's your color, so it's pretty cool.
Jenn Quader:Blue is my color. If if if any of you are watching the video podcast, you will see that I am always in blue. Kelly is always in red. It's a statement. Take it however you want.
Asef Quader:And also, there's always looking down, writing notes.
Dr. Kelly Culver:That's right. And we hear his voice in our ears. So this is kind of really interesting that He's actually present with us, fully present with us today for
Asef Quader:this podcast. Yeah. Typically, I'm not on camera. No one can hear me speak. Only Jen and Kelly hear the voice of God in their ear, and now everyone gets to hear it.
Asef Quader:Not calling myself a god.
Dr. Kelly Culver:But it comes across
Asef Quader:that way. Not a god, at least.
Dr. Kelly Culver:It comes it comes across that way sometimes. Exactly. Yeah.
Asef Quader:The white beard helps.
Dr. Kelly Culver:You know, I've got a question. I've got a question for you, Jen, because this is very interesting. So for for those of you who may be new to the podcast, Jen and I are the usual co hosts. And what we have done is brought together a number of speakers who, came together at the American University of Paris Resilience Redefined TEDx talk back in March. And we're working our way through.
Dr. Kelly Culver:So we're generally the cohosts. But because Jen and I were both speakers, today is our day to shine the spotlight on Jen. So she's not in her cohost chair. She's in her guest chair. And Asif has come in to, pinch hit that responsibility.
Dr. Kelly Culver:But we are going to subject Jen to the same format that we do everybody else.
Jenn Quader:So, Jen, my question is, as I ask everybody else, what does resiliency mean to you? To me, resilience resiliency is forward momentum. I believe that resiliency is a state of flow in which you don't get stuck. You could see it as a river flowing, you know. And and if the river is flowing and we have things like branches and we have a tree trunk and we have, you know and all of a sudden, the the water can't flow, and no change can then occur.
Jenn Quader:And so I think the state of resiliency is is the ability to constantly keep the river clear of debris so that everything can flow, creativity can come through us, and then our lives and our businesses and just everything about how we live can become a lot more enjoyable.
Dr. Kelly Culver:You know, I find that really fascinating because and I and I love the definition that you've just given, like what it means to you, the real meaning that it's sort of the tactile practical tactile sense. Because your TED Talk, and we'll come to that in a few minutes, but your TED Talk is about walking confidently or confidently walking in the wrong direction. And it's about that flow. There's a synergy there with the flow of gathering the confidence in yourself to move and move and move because one of the things that we've seen around the world in the last few years is with all of the uncertainty and turbulence is that people freeze. And when they freeze, their organization frees.
Dr. Kelly Culver:And you lead a company, and you lead a company in a complex industry, and you have to keep flowing.
Jenn Quader:It is an absolute necessity. And I think you you brought it through the right lens for me, Kelly, which is to say, I think perhaps I always was you know, gravitated toward the idea of resilience because I I am an achiever. You heard that in my in my opening. Of course, I I go for the go for the gold. You know?
Jenn Quader:That's just kind of who I am. But I think it wasn't until I took on that business ownership. You know? I acquired the company that I was working for and had been there for ten years in 2018. And 2018 is only two years before that big old thing we all know as the global pandemic came along.
Jenn Quader:And and I found out so fast that everything changes and that if I cling to what was, I will go down with the ship. And so I think that that's where, you know, when you ask, what does resilience mean to me, you're absolutely right. It means, like, that my business can survive, which means that the people who I employ can eat with their families every night and and and enjoy, you know, a a life of plenty because we are creating that kind of of reality for them. And it requires that ability to change on a dime. It requires the ability to not see everything as frozen or as exactly, impermanent.
Jenn Quader:It requires knowing that everything is changing all the time. And so we we there's a constant, if you will, back to my analogy, there's a constant clearing of the river, if that makes sense.
Dr. Kelly Culver:But I also would think there's a constant putting on your pants of steel every morning.
Jenn Quader:Amen. Well and and that, I think, speaks to that speaks to the the title which you mentioned, which is confidently walking in the wrong direction. You won't see that on the YouTube link because, you know, they had to SEO it up for us. But, really, it's called confidently walking in the wrong direction. And the best way I can explain that to you is that every time I need to go somewhere, I go in the wrong direction.
Jenn Quader:It's like the the like, let's say I'm going up for a business meeting, and I go in and I go to the conference room. Hi, dear potential client. Nice to meet you. I come down. No matter what, if my car is to the right, I'm gonna turn left.
Jenn Quader:Like, it's just who I am. I I I walk to the left. I go about eight minutes, and then I go, oh, my car's not over here. Let's go this way. And there's something when I picture it, you know, and, again, this is an extreme case.
Jenn Quader:But, like, when I picture it, it's like sometimes when in life we are used to to knowing that about ourselves, oh, I often go in the wrong direction, there's this picture I have of, like, well, I could just sit down in an empty parking spot and cry, right, because I didn't go in the right direction. And and I and I have now I have to go backwards. I have to go past the elevator again. How embarrassing. What if they saw me go in the wrong direction?
Jenn Quader:Like, it's it's a it's a silly little example, but it actually magnifies to be exactly what we do to ourselves because we feel shame. We feel shame that we went in the wrong direction. We feel shame that that, you know, we don't know where we should go, and so we freeze. And so, yeah, I think for me, the resilience is in that it's that invisible force, that magic, that infinite intelligence that tells us, okay, just go ahead and turn around and walk back to your car. You know?
Dr. Kelly Culver:And nobody's really looking.
Jenn Quader:Yeah. And no one's looking. Perfect point. No one is really looking. This is your your experience is here for you.
Jenn Quader:That's it. That's very true. Good point.
Asef Quader:So let's let's get into your TED talk. For our audience, we're gonna play the TED talk right now. You'll get to hear Jen's, introduction, and I'll tell you I might be biased, but it was one of my favorite talks in Paris. As Jen said, it's called confidently walking in the wrong direction, a guide to navigating change. Let's give it a listen, and we'll be back in about fifteen minutes to dissect the talk.
Jenn Quader:I have a question for you. How do you know when you're walking in the wrong direction? See, we spend a lot of time trying to choose the right direction. Right? We go back and forth.
Jenn Quader:We can't decide. We go over and over and over, and then we finally, we pick a direction to go, and inevitably, something changes and we become worried. And then as we keep walking, something else happens. We start to close off. We start to become more trepidatious.
Jenn Quader:And soon we realize, wait, I'm headed in the wrong direction. And what are the implications of this process, this cycle that we put ourselves through day in and day out, sometimes multiple times a day? Well, I'm here to tell you, as people who are here seeking resilience, this cycle is what's slowing our growth, and it is slowing us down in business, in our personal lives, and in our careers. Let's look first through the business lens. There was a global study done by Deloitte just last year that revealed that global Fortune 500 companies are currently losing five hundred and thirty thousand working days every year to ineffective decision making.
Jenn Quader:That equates to about 250,000,000 US dollars in wasted labor hours annually. That is not resilient. Now let's look at the career path and this disproportionately affects women. There was a study done last year worldwide said more women left their jobs in 2023 than in 2022 and 2021 combined. And then the entire workforce as a whole.
Jenn Quader:It's been widely covered that the workforce is pulling back in their engagement and in their intention. Well, studies in 2014 and again in 2023 revealed that less than 40% of those in the global workforce even aspire to be managers. Now why? Why is that happening? Well, it's because everything is going so fast.
Jenn Quader:We are in the middle of one of the most rapid workforce, economic, technological, and societal evolutions in history. We are being hit with message after message and image after image with things that people want us to think and frankly, we are afraid. And if you sit for a minute, you'll feel that fear because that fear is what holds us back. And I'm here to tell you today that as people seeking resilience, what we must be afraid of instead is freezing or retreating because this is what robs us of our resilience. How do you do that when everything's changing so fast?
Jenn Quader:Well, let's look first to a very wise man, mister Albert Einstein. And he said, the measure of intelligence is our ability to change. So that's what I'm here to talk about today is change, and how can you navigate change in an effective way that will help you get to your hopes and dreams in your life. And I'm gonna share four strategies with you today on how to do that. Let's kick off with strategy one, which is get in the business of reinventing yourself.
Jenn Quader:Now this brings me to why I believe I'm uniquely qualified to be here today. You see, I am a CEO in a world full of people, many of whom are frankly cracking under the pressures of change. And I myself am pretty good at change. I have a knack for it. And you may ask, well, how'd you get that knack, Jen?
Jenn Quader:And I'd say, I'm glad you asked. I'll be happy to tell you. So this is my origin story. I was born in North Carolina in The United States to a family of musicians. We were called the musical Michaels.
Jenn Quader:We sang all over The US. We were on television every Christmas with a family Christmas special. Then I graduated from high school, and the very next day, I hopped on a plane and I went off to cruise ships where I was a singer dancer. I traveled across, wore a lot of sequins, had a lot of good fun. Next, it was off to great New York City to achieve my dream of theater, and there, I was a very well trained and very serious waitress.
Jenn Quader:I worked very hard. I served a lot of plates of food. I also worked hard on my craft, on my voice, my singing, my dancing, my acting, and I was able to land a couple shows in New York, and then I hit a stroke of good luck. And I was able to travel across the entire United States as a professional musical theater actress. And I even achieved my biggest dream at the time, which was to be a performer in a national tour of a Broadway musical.
Jenn Quader:So I played Conchita Alvarez in the national tour of Barry Manilow's Copacabana. You can all feel free to envision me with fruit on my head. That is what I wore. And then I played Estelle Genovesi in the national tour of the Full Monty. And you can all feel free to envision you know what?
Jenn Quader:Don't envision that one. Skip that. Then I toured for one more year with the national tour of Rent in Company Management. So now I had built this entire theatrical resume. I had done all of these things.
Jenn Quader:So what do I do next but head in a completely different direction? And I come here to Paris. And here I attend this wonderful academic institution. I gain a true global perspective on the diversity of life and communications, and I made some amazing friends. Now, after I graduated, it's 02/2008, and I head to California in The United States.
Jenn Quader:I am master's degree in hand. I'm ready to go, and I am a waitress yet again. It's time to serve a lot of fettuccine because it's 02/2008. It's the great recession. So after many months working there, I was able to land a job as an account manager at a global PR firm.
Jenn Quader:Very soon thereafter, I took a position as wife and then I took a job as nurse to a husband who was going through cancer and had a bone marrow transplant quickly after our marriage and I am very happy to say he is here and healthy, cancer free with me today. Now after that I continued to work hard at my job, I moved to a smaller boutique agency, and I became a vice president of PR. I then studied under the owner of that agency for ten years to learn everything I could about the business. In 2018, I acquired that firm. And then through this most recent global pandemic, I led my team through a name change and a brand change that has given us double digit growth and much more importantly, a really wonderful culture.
Jenn Quader:Now that's a lot of change. Right? And what can we learn from that? Well, if you'll look to the screen, all of these red arrows, these are all the places where I went in the wrong direction. And that's according to myself at the time, my parents, my religious leaders, society as a whole.
Jenn Quader:There were many, many times where I was walking in the wrong direction, and yet each one of these experiences added up to who I am today. And so, the learning in this is as you work to be able to reinvent yourself, be sure you are being brave, Be sure you're trying new things and always keep walking. You have to move forward in order to achieve that resilience. Now, strategy number two is learn to let go. So when I got to California, I began walking so confidently in the wrong direction that I almost hurt myself.
Jenn Quader:You see, I was supposed to be a mother. I mean, look at me. Who wouldn't get into a minivan with me? I can even remember back in New York when I was auditioning, this casting director came out. He comes around and he says, hey.
Jenn Quader:Listen, lady. We can't cast you as a teenager in Greece. You have this whole mother earth quality. I was about 19 at the time. See, I've I've always been motherly, and I've always known that I was meant to be a mother.
Jenn Quader:And I can prove it to you. This is me at every party that is ever held at my house when children are present. I am a magnet to children and them to me. I love them. I love their energy, their imagination, their joy in life.
Jenn Quader:And so, again, this was further evidence. I'm supposed to be a mama. And everyone around me knew this also, so they joined in my effort to help me walk confidently. And walk I did. I moved forward.
Jenn Quader:I studied mind, body, and spirit. I did acupuncture. I went to different doctors. I did special diets. And I am here to tell you that I did not get what I wanted.
Jenn Quader:In fact, after five rounds of in vitro fertilization, pregnant is not a status I ever even achieved. Now what's the learning in that? Well, it's that most of life is about letting go. We have to let go of the disappointments in life. That is what allows us to move forward and walk with confidence.
Jenn Quader:And when you do that, you will have a habit that will allow you to face life's next challenge with more fortitude. It's important to remember, walking confidently in any direction doesn't mean you're going to get what you want, but you will end up better off. Now on to strategy number three, and that is get clear on who you are. Now for this strategy, I wanna introduce a concept I created called the knowledge quotient. Now this is kind of like your IQ.
Jenn Quader:This is your KQ. And I know, I know, quotient is a weird word. It just means percentage. And all I'm asking you is, what percentage of your knowledge comes from external sources outside of you and what percent comes from inside yourself? Now let me illustrate that for you.
Jenn Quader:So if I asked you a question and you went only to the Internet, your neighbor, your best friend, and your spouse. You asked them all this question and just from that stimuli you make this decision, you are at a 100% external KQ. Now if I ask you the same question and you trust no one and nothing, you go only to what is inside yourself and you trust no external stimuli, you would be at a 100% internal knowledge quotient. Now neither of these is what we want to strive for. What we need instead is a balance.
Jenn Quader:How do we achieve that? There's a very easy methodology. We just have to ask ourselves two questions, and we can do this anytime, multiple times a day. Question number one. What percentage of my knowledge, my trust, my belief, my decision making is coming from external sources?
Jenn Quader:Things like the Internet, other people, society as a whole. And I can share with you that when my external KQ is a little too high, it looks a little bit like this. I'm worried. I don't know what to do. What do they want me to do?
Jenn Quader:What should I do? What might I do? Now, the second question to ask yourself in this methodology is what percent of my knowledge, my belief, my trust, my decision making is coming from my inner world? Now this is something I did not make up. We all know this.
Jenn Quader:This is your wise mind, your intuition. Some call it the holy spirit, your inner voice, your Jiminy Cricket. This is the part of you that hears your own thoughts and feels your own feelings. This is the real you. And when you can connect with that and when you can realize what's happening outside yourself, you become so much more powerful.
Jenn Quader:And then from there, all you have to do is find what's right for you. There is no perfect prescription. You might be a sixtyforty. You might be a seventythirty. Where are you most resilient?
Jenn Quader:But being aware of who you're trusting, that's what makes this so powerful because if you wanna grow, you have to know who you're listening to. This is a tool that easily helps you to accomplish that. Now, my last strategy for effectively navigating change is grow your own garden of thinking. Now I picked this metaphor specifically because it is the wrong direction for me. This is a picture of me and my husband.
Jenn Quader:He is trying to make me garden. I am trying to keep my hands free from all dirt. See, I am not a gardener. I don't have the patience for it. But I do understand that gardening is the perfect metaphor for growth.
Jenn Quader:Because if you want anything to grow, yourself, your relationships, your career, a company, you have to plant it, nurture it, and pay thoughtful attention to it. And so, to do that you have to give yourself time. You have to give yourself the time you need to cultivate your own ideas, to listen to what is inside and then beyond that you have to be really gentle with yourself. You have to treat yourself like you would a precious little seedling in the garden, and that is how you will grow. Now, at the beginning of this talk, I asked you a question.
Jenn Quader:I said, how do you know when you're walking in the wrong direction? Well, I propose today that there is no wrong direction as long as you walk with confidence and you stay true to yourself. And if you will get in the business of reinventing yourself, if you will learn to let go of life's disappointments and pain, if you will get clear on who you are, know who you're listening to, balance the external and internal stimuli, and if you will then grow your own garden of thinking, you will become fertile ground for the ideas and the innovations that will make the entire world a more resilient place to live. Thank
Dr. Kelly Culver:you. There is no wrong direction. That's the beauty of resilience, isn't it? You bounce back and around and back and forth and up and down. It's like your flow in your river.
Dr. Kelly Culver:There is no wrong direction. There's such powerful words of wisdom for us. We're really lucky to have been able to, to hear those messages from you today. And and I would like to do a a bit of a shout out to our audience who may not know this. Jen did say she doesn't like gardening.
Dr. Kelly Culver:Asif does. He likes composting, in fact. And they've, you know, they've had some pretty serious conversations about how to integrate mother nature a little more closely into their lives. But your analogy of the seedling, you're already there. The seedling confidently walks in any direction it chooses to grow.
Dr. Kelly Culver:Thank you for those words, Jen.
Jenn Quader:You're more than welcome. It's a it's a delight to share them and to share that concept and to see it through your eyes a little bit too.
Dr. Kelly Culver:I'd like to know, how's that TED Talk changed your life? It's only been a couple months. What's the news?
Jenn Quader:Well, the biggest news is we're sitting here together. You know? I think Isn't
Dr. Kelly Culver:it awesome?
Jenn Quader:But I it's so amazing. And I think, you know, I think what what the what the TED Talk did to change my life was that it it, you know, we've talked in other episodes, or perhaps you'll hear them in future episodes, about, about chapters and about how sometimes, you know, you can come to the end of a chapter, and then you gotta write a new one. Well, I I think maybe I thought doing a TEDx was the end of a chapter. I think maybe I thought, oh, that's a life goal. It's you know, people call it a bucket list item.
Jenn Quader:And so I'm gonna go, and I'm gonna check this thing off my list. And instead, I kicked open the door to this whole discussion and community on resilience and this this you know, it's it's like, what did they say? Energetically, like, the things you're supposed to do will find you, which is part of why you have to trust the universe and know that you're not walking in the wrong direction as long as you're walking. And I think that that's what this topic of resilience has really found me. And and so it's changed my life by helping give me an even sharper purpose, more clarity on on what the world might need and where my voice can can be of service.
Dr. Kelly Culver:The universe brings things and people into your life at the time when you need them the most.
Jenn Quader:They say when you're ready, the teacher will appear.
Asef Quader:Mhmm.
Jenn Quader:Good teacher, doctor Kelly Culver.
Asef Quader:So I wanna dive in a little bit and really talk about what I feel is the crux of your talk, which is really the knowledge quotient in there. I think that's really important for people to understand and how to build it. So let me ask you right off the bat, KQ, knowledge quotient. Is this a technique that you kind of put in your head? You set it and forget it.
Asef Quader:You you're I I know I like sixty forty, I like myself, and then I have these three people that I talk to, and I take it all together, and then this is what I use for everything? Or do you use it for different subject, different, issues that, you know, well, I know I'm more attuned to this subject, so I only need I need 90% me and 10% external. What do you what do you think? What what's best?
Jenn Quader:Great question. Yeah. I think it's definitely not a set it and forget it. I think that what the what KQ or knowledge quotient is is much more of a mindfulness strategy because it's giving you a tool or a lens. You know, think of a pair of glasses to look through anytime you either need to make a decision or you are making one and feeling weird about it, if that makes sense.
Jenn Quader:So I so it it is definitely an an ever fluctuating, number. Like, for example, I could tell you, I think in general, I at this juncture of my life, and I don't think it was in the past, but at this juncture, I think I've gotten myself to where, like, in general, I'm probably a seventy thirty. Like, I'm listening to myself and trying to trust my own intuition a lot more than external stimuli. A lot of it because of some of the things we've talked about in this episode. You know, when you are faced with a a business that everything is changing, you've got you have to be your own anchor in that way.
Jenn Quader:But there are certain days where I might wake up and feel a certain way and think, you know, I don't I'm I'm feeling unsteady in myself, so I'm going to need to purposely trust external stimuli more today. And so perhaps I will I will actively and mindfully say I'm gonna I'm gonna push that up, and now I'm gonna be more fifty fifty. And then I also think there's there's situation specific things because, you know, it it does require a a bit of acknowledgment to say that, yes, I wanna go with what I feel, but, boy, is there a lot of knowledge in the world. You know? And I would never wanna close the door to that learning.
Jenn Quader:And so I think that you you definitely have to look at, if I'm going into situation where I'm gonna learn about, let's say, a new company and I know nothing about what they do, I don't wanna walk in with my KQI really high. I wanna walk in ready to absorb. So I definitely think it is a it's a great tool to give you that measurement, but it's less of, like, something to aim for and more something to use.
Asef Quader:It sounds like you could end up wrestling with yourself a lot. You can almost get lost in the, who do I trust? Do I trust me more than this person? How do you come up with making decisions quickly?
Jenn Quader:Honestly, you'd for me, I think you gotta jump to strategy four to get to that. Okay? So strategy three is your knowledge quotient. That's being aware. That's like having the tool.
Jenn Quader:It's like, hey. I've got the hammer. But but how to use it, how to trust it to know where to go, you've gotta do number four, which is grow your own garden of thinking. And while that's a beautiful metaphor, the truth is it just means giving yourself actual time to think. And I think everybody does this differently.
Jenn Quader:For me, I I have a morning routine. I think it's the most important thing in the world. And every morning, I write. And I'm not writing like the next great novel. I'm writing what do I think and what's happening.
Jenn Quader:And that gives me a space and a time that I can dissect that and and do exactly what you're asking, Asif, which is identify where am I today and what do I need. So I I think that with the KQ, it could lead to that kind of complexity and self doubt if you are not also giving yourself time to listen to yourself. And and we speak quietly to ourselves. You know, it it it silence is required.
Dr. Kelly Culver:I think that's really interesting observation when you look at it through the lens of a leader because that's one of you know, one of your messages is around leadership and and and leaders having the confidence to take decisions and not freeze. Is the ability to be comfortable in silence, listen to the silence, because sometimes the silence then equals space, not just to think, but space to innovate. And we have to give ourselves permission to do that because, again, as you said in the beginning of your talk, things are coming at us so quickly that we are we are overloaded with information that we become afraid we don't know we don't know how to move ahead. We don't know what to do. And it sometimes it's in that silence that the void gets filled very quickly with the little voice in your head.
Dr. Kelly Culver:And some people, Jen, my question to you on this is some people have you ever noticed some people are really uncomfortable with silence? Like, if you're if you're having a meeting, right, you're having a meeting, and all of a sudden there is this pause, and you really want that pause because you want people to reflect, but somebody's gotta come in and fill the silence because they can't handle it, what do you do?
Jenn Quader:Now look. I can speak from beautiful experience here, Kelly. And I think, again, I I said this in my talk. Like, this is why I think I'm an expert and can be here, but it's true. Because I am that person.
Jenn Quader:Welcome to me. You know? Welcome to who barreled through the first half of her life. Blah blah blah blah blah. Let me tell you everything I'm thinking.
Jenn Quader:You know? And and I, my my business partner who I love and respect for, you know, for ten years, I learned her company, and she's the one I bought the company from. And she used to say, you know, Jen, you're a loud listener. Like and so so I think it I I say that, and I divulge that to say it's something I've definitely learned. And she actually really helped me to learn that.
Jenn Quader:She taught me that and this is through the business lens, but I think it can work anywhere. But she taught me that, whoever speaks the most in the meeting thinks the meeting went the best. Oh, yes. And I was like, brilliant. Because I wanted the meeting to go well, and I would talk and talk and talk.
Jenn Quader:And once I learned, you let those clients talk, you do that. And and I think from a business lens, that's really important. And then I learned something really important from a a personal lens, and this relates to silence and how important it is. Because we're talking about silence, achieving silence, or getting comfortable with silence, as it relates to finding our own knowledge quotient. But I think that that's the deepest level.
Jenn Quader:The the level above that is exactly what you're saying, Kelly. It's how do I how do I open to everything and allow it and still kind of have my center of gravity. And so, you know, I learned through the business lens, like, don't talk the whole time. You know? And then I had to learn through the personal lens.
Jenn Quader:And this came through a, I had, frankly, like, a a disagreement slash kinda blow up with a colleague, which is very rare. Like, we're usually really, you know, compassionate and loving and wonderful, but it was a disagreement. And I had a lot of anger. I had a lot of anger, and I wasn't kind of figuring all that out. And then I, I went and I read a book called Anger by Thich Nhat Hanh, and it's a fantastic book.
Jenn Quader:And he's he's giving this example of, like, married couples who've reached the end of their, like, they're they're done. Right? They're not listening to each other anymore, etcetera. And he gives this really interesting and very clear formula, and the formula is compassionate listening and loving speech. Compassionate listening and loving speech.
Jenn Quader:And compassionate listening means shut up. You know? It means shut up and listen. It means allow and and and I write this now in my morning pages. Every morning, I write, let others finish.
Jenn Quader:Let them finish what they have to say. And so all of this, I know it sounds like it's all kinda out out here moving back to this topic of resilience and of the knowledge quotient, but, really, these are the skills to work on because it is a balance. When you wanna find out how you can move forward and you're hoping it's in a right direction, but we we either way, we wanna move forward, we wanna feel stable in that. And so we're looking for how can we balance that. And I think that if we are aware of it and if we let others finish and if we can get to a place where we can allow everything that's happening and then make our decision, that's where true resilience comes from because we're not trying to to create it.
Jenn Quader:We're not trying to make something that's not real. We are trusting the universe, trusting the environment we're in, trusting those other people in our community, and then at the same time, making the best discerning decision for me about what what my insides are saying.
Dr. Kelly Culver:And it's listening to that diversity of voices. You know, I it was you have a lovely story. You haven't told people, but I'm gonna share it with our listeners that you that you gave at the TED Talk, which just made me laugh out loud, which was, I am Jen. I have this amazing speech. They've said yes to me.
Dr. Kelly Culver:I'm going to give this TED Talk because it's all about me, and I am gonna change the world, and I am gonna walk away being the very best person that ever gave a TED Talk on the face of the universe. And then she and I sit together, and we listen to everybody else's speech, and we think, we are part of a bigger thing. And I love that story about you because it's vulnerable. You're saying this is how I felt. And then you said, but this is what I learned.
Dr. Kelly Culver:And it's listening to those other voices and how you situate yourself within them. So I had to share that because I still love that story a
Asef Quader:lot. Mhmm.
Jenn Quader:Well and it's just so true. It's it's wonderful how from our perspective, especially someone who you know? And, again, everyone's gonna relate to to everyone differently. But I, myself, am an achiever. Right?
Jenn Quader:It's just what I am. I'm I'm gonna if we entered a race today, I'd start training. You know? Like, I I I want I I want to achieve at the highest level. But often that can put a blocker on us and make us think it is about us.
Jenn Quader:And I think that that's the whole key. And and when we go back to even what we talked about earlier in this episode where I said, you know, I I tend to always choose the wrong direction even if I'm walking away from the elevator, that that the fear and the shame comes from me thinking, oh, I'm I'm not matching what everyone else is doing. It's it's frankly, it's it's the Buddhist concept of the comparing mind. You know? And so when you can let go of that, then you can see, and that's what I felt.
Jenn Quader:You know? I I can't remember if you said it, doctor Culver, or someone else, but I you may have said it. Talking about the fabric, like, how it it's a fabric. A fabric is woven together. And, you know, I mean, we don't get to see that as much anymore because most of our fabrics, I think, we order off or order offline, and it gets shipped to us.
Jenn Quader:And but but, really, there's some process that weaves all of this together. And and I think therein lies the magic of life. And you see it in leadership because people will tell you this, and I certainly have have, seen it. You can only accomplish so much by yourself. At some point, you either have to stop growing or work through others.
Jenn Quader:Community.
Asef Quader:Where does listening to your internal voice override listening to external influences? Or or more so, do you wrestle with hearing people telling you something that you feel deeply inside is wrong, but go with it. Like, if your husband, let's say, says something you feel is not right, but you end up going with that person because you trust what they say. How do you justify it in your head and within your KQ system?
Jenn Quader:Oh, you're bringing you're bringing up something really interesting. It's something I wanna dive more into. The answer is it takes a lot of awareness and a lot of growth, but I think that that leads to a lot of challenges. And and, let me say it this way. I think that a lot of marriages have the problem you just spoke of.
Jenn Quader:So and I could say my own had this, which is to say you get married, and I'm only gonna speak from my own female wife experience. I don't know what other people's might be. But mine was, like, you know, I was raised and told, you know, you're supposed to get yourself a husband. Right? Like, that's what you do.
Jenn Quader:And then there's kind of that whole concept of, like, father knows best, you know? And so and and and that's the man. And so for a long time, things that are told to you early in marriage, you just do. Like, you and and I can remember a time in our marriage where I was angry with you because I was like, Asif wants me to do these things. He wants me to, like, sit here and do this.
Jenn Quader:And then and then I finally realized he'd never asked me to do any of those things. I was creating my own wall of being trapped in something that was based on me not connecting with my own KQI and realizing, hey. I actually, let's say, don't wanna watch TV tonight. That's just one small example. But, like, instead of thinking, oh, my entire marriage is dependent upon every night, he wants me to sit beside him and watch TV, I could simply communicate with you.
Jenn Quader:Hey. My insides are saying I wanna write or, you know, play the piano, which has been my new thing that I've loved. But but that so my my point in saying that is everyone that to me is is the it it could be the poster for why everyone needs to develop their own KQ. It's why they have to be aware of it. Because without it, you will build unintentional resentment because you will end up doing whatever your husband said or whatever your teacher said or your whoever you place in a position of authority, you'll do it until you wake up and realize nobody's making you do it.
Jenn Quader:Right. And and so so it it it is a bit of a deep concept because it's not like a I wouldn't call it a Band Aid strategy. You know what I mean? This isn't like a take your pill and lose your pounds. You know?
Jenn Quader:This is something that that that you you have to put in your head and really see it from a lot of angles and use it. You know? It it it's a tool in the toolkit is what I'll say.
Asef Quader:This kinda leads into my next question, which is the idea that people never change. Right? They are who they are when they are born. Right? A zebra can't change its stripes.
Asef Quader:You kinda touch on it in your in your step three. Right? Get clear on who you are. But, you know, what do you think? Do you think that's true?
Asef Quader:Do you think a zebra can't change its stripes? Do you think that you are who you are and and that's who you're gonna be for the rest of your life?
Jenn Quader:I definitely don't think that. But and and the first thing my brain went to is just flat out biology, which is like that zebra, their cells are changing all the time. Like, even if we can't see it, the the the zebra has cells that are multiplying and changing. So the truth is there is no truth in someone saying that nothing is changing because everything is always changing. The only thing that never changes is the fact that everything is always changing.
Jenn Quader:So so I don't I don't buy into that. But what I do buy into is something that we talked about, again, in a different episode, but I buy into the fact that you will change only as much as you choose to change. It you know, a a person cannot change someone else. You've seen enough parents who have kids who are making choices that don't align with what they want, and they are it's it's a travesty. It's a tragedy in their lives.
Jenn Quader:You can't change what they want. So that's why resilience is such a personal journey, and I think it's so interesting we talk about it as a community responsibility and a collective action. And we do that because the community has to be there because resilience is so is so tough. But really, when it comes down to it, resilience is individual. It's between you and your own energy.
Jenn Quader:And can you pull that energy up, and and and bring it where it needs to be?
Asef Quader:Right. How how important is confidence in resiliency?
Jenn Quader:So the answer is it's very important. And the other answer is I think people conflate the idea of confidence with the idea of extroversion. I think that people think, oh, if I'm an extrovert, I'm confident. And if I'm an introvert, I'm not confident. I don't think that is true at all.
Jenn Quader:I think confidence is an ability to act. Confidence is what removes that debris out of the river and allows everything to roll. And so confidence, as we've talked about, can come and often is born from silence. It is born from a quiet place. And then it is also born from planning.
Jenn Quader:And so that's where I'd say, you know, if we look at it through doctor Culver's, she spoke, on a different episode, and through her TED Talk about a kind of a three pronged approach, which is like you have to have a framework to just help you survive, get out of the disaster. But then you also have to have a plan for what you're gonna do right now and then a strategy for what you're gonna do moving forward. And so what I'm talking about in my KQ and and growing your garden of thinking and being ready to reinvent and let yourself go, it's actually all three of those things. It is actually what I'm kinda asking you to do is spend a little time with yourself and figure out, what would I do in case of disaster? What how will how will I keep my head up if it all goes to poo poo?
Jenn Quader:Right? Mhmm. But then second, how will I keep it going regardless of what happens? What is that plan? And then third, what's the strategic you know, where's the strategy behind where I wanna end up?
Jenn Quader:And if I'm looking at all of those, touching them on a regular basis, then I have confidence. The confidence is there. So confidence is it it's absolutely very important to resilience, but we have to be careful not to think of it as just personality skills. We have to think of it as something we can build by all we gotta do is know the rules, know know know what we're gonna do, have a plan, and now we're confident.
Dr. Kelly Culver:I'd like to stay in that area of confidence for a minute. I really liked how you described it, but you talk at the very beginning of your of your TED Talk. You give us some statistics, and you quote that more women left their jobs in 2023 than in 2022 and 2021 combined. And we know a lot of people left jobs because that's the high height of COVID, was '21, '20 '2, '20 '20 '1, '20 '2. And you talk about it being one of the biggest evolution social evolutions in history disproportionately affecting women.
Dr. Kelly Culver:Why?
Jenn Quader:Sometimes it's hard to be a woman. It's it is not easy to be a woman. I'm I'm sorry. I you know, that that this is just the truth. Why does it disproportionately affect women?
Jenn Quader:I think it's because women have children. I I I that is my my uneducated like, nonlife experience guess, but I think it's because women have children. And I've had friends who've told me like, they've described to me the experience of having a child and that child crying in the crib in the other room, and they're like, Jen, my whole body is responding. Like, it's not like I'm just trying to Like, my whole body is like, get to that child. And so I think that there's a metaphysical reality, which is to say that women are connected to their children, and that makes them connected to their families, and they have to always they have, like, a a default understanding of what matters most.
Jenn Quader:Right? And then we have a society, specifically a workforce society, that's trying to cram everybody back into the box. They're like, okay, guys. Everything changed, but only for a little bit. Let's all go back to how it was.
Jenn Quader:Well, guess what? Everything we're we're all different. And so I I would suspect that a lot of that comes from a lack of resilience in the business landscape and community for not kind of meeting women where they are and helping to find ways to allow for that flexibility, to allow them to live in what matters, which is their familyhood, and also develop professional careers. I'm speaking at a really high level here. I am meaning, I I'm sure there are companies who have done this.
Jenn Quader:I'm not saying everything's a failure. But if you ask, why is it women that are leaving their jobs? I really think it has to do with them finding out, hey. My life can look bigger. I can get to my son's soccer game.
Jenn Quader:I can, you know, I I I I can get these things done, and I have all this intelligence and this ability, and I want to work in a place that will allow both lives.
Dr. Kelly Culver:It's I think we have a heightened sense of balance now, and you and you speak about that very eloquently. There's a heightened sense of balance, and balance is different. We define balance differently. You know, each of us defines what that is. And if you can tap into someone's passion and how they're hardwired, you get the best out of them.
Dr. Kelly Culver:So we create the space for people to be successful.
Jenn Quader:And that's that's critical. You have to have a stage on which to perform, if that makes sense. You have to have that space that allows you to to bring that out. And if you are in in a world where everything is stifled, you you, you know, you can't. And then I think too, the other reason that there's a disproportionate effect on women in in general is it's like life expectancy.
Jenn Quader:You know, we've talked a little bit about wanting to live till to a long age and that that is a reflection of resiliency. I think that that women have to really think about, like, the chapters of their lives. Again, it it it all connects back to childbirth and family planning because that's what a woman goes through that a man doesn't. But there there's an element of like, oh, well, okay. But if I'm I'm having this first baby, but if I wanna have a second baby, and then what about if I wanna have a third?
Jenn Quader:And I've gotta plan all of these things. And so that's another it's just another way that if we're not actively saying, I'm gonna make a workforce that follows people's lives, that, like, values the human first and and helps, you know and and, again, I do wanna interrupt myself to say from an employer standpoint that this is not an easy, like, oh, just let people do whatever they want either. Because, of course, there are ways that this that balance has to be achieved between what a company needs and what kind of flexibility can be offered. But I think this comes to that resilient mindset. It's the mindset of if I'm at a company and I am seeing that people are fleeing my company, what can I change in the mindset to to help people to be able to do the work that I need them to do, but also get what they need out of their own lives?
Jenn Quader:That's what I think is driving people out of the workforce as it stands today.
Dr. Kelly Culver:And I think that you probably have some really good tips that you could give people, business owners, because, you know, in your introduction, that Asif was so eloquent in in, in highlighting for us, You acquired for it? Well, you acquired the smart agency in 2018, went through COVID. You have transformed that organization, rebranded it, and you have double digit profit. But what mattered to me more, when I was listening was you've changed the culture.
Jenn Quader:Hugely. Mhmm.
Dr. Kelly Culver:So you can do it all and have everything. You didn't make an either or choice. You said it's both and everything.
Jenn Quader:Well and I think that the most important thing to know is how slow that culture change has come. Like, we're waking up now in 2024, and we're like, man, look at this culture. This is great. But none of us thought that back in 2018 or '19. And, again, I wanna speak carefully to say the the company had its own culture before, and it was a culture of achievement.
Jenn Quader:This this company's always had a reputation for being phenomenal at what it did. But I had to change the culture because as we actually, this is in a different episode, but we were talking about kind of a factory and how factories in today's world, their their machinery has to change all the time. Everything started changing in such a way that I had to I had to change change the company not from what it was, but into what it would become.
Asef Quader:Mhmm.
Jenn Quader:Like, it didn't matter where we were going from. We had to change into what it would become. And so by by focusing on that and then I would say you asked for some tips. And and I'd say the tip number one is is, it's fun when you're the podcast guest and you're talking a lot, but it's shut up. Tip number one is listen.
Jenn Quader:Like, really, really listen. Listen to your team. Like, ask really good open ended questions. That's another thing I've worked on in coaching for myself. I used to ask a lot of closed questions, like, do we all agree with that?
Jenn Quader:Which if I'm the boss, of course, we all agree with that. But instead, I now ask, what do you think of that? You know? So so being more open to that. And then I think a second thing in this I've learned, I'll give a shout out to Bell Leadership Institute, which is on campus at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
Jenn Quader:I've attended several leadership trainings there. And what they really focus on is learning your own personality so that you can be open and honest in in who you are. I'll I'll give you an example of that. So I've learned that, like, my patience can get a little too short sometimes. And when my patience is a little short I I love my husband is is is, giving me a little visual cue there.
Jenn Quader:He's he's he's supporting this truth that I'm sharing with you all. But often sometimes when my patience is short, I find that I want to, like, lash out at someone, which is really not it's very contrary to my own nature. I'm kind of a I'm kind of a nice person. Right? But I find myself wanting to lash out.
Jenn Quader:And I was able to recognize and learn through this this leadership training like, oh, when that happens, I'm not feeling my own value. Like, I'm wanting to lash out because maybe something's happening that's making me think, oh, what I'm doing is not good enough. And, again, I'm a little a student. I wanna be good enough. So I'm I'm, like, having that anger.
Jenn Quader:And by learning that, by learning, oh, that's part of my personality, by accepting it because for the first little bit as I got feedback that said, hey, Jen, you can kinda get angry and slice a little bit. At first, I was like, oh, that that's not who I am. That you know, it was I didn't identify with that, so it wasn't real for me. And then after a couple times of getting the same feedback, I was like, damn. I I must really do this.
Jenn Quader:And now I've been able to see, and and I actually a big win recently was I noticed it in myself. I was a little grouchy one day, and I noticed myself wanting to slice at somebody. And I really stopped myself, and I asked three open questions instead. So so my my advice to those who are looking to create an environment where people really wanna stay and where people can stay and grow is listen more and learn yourself and and get real with who you are. Stop stop thinking that just because you're the leader, everything you do is right.
Jenn Quader:I'm I'm speaking to myself too, guys. That's really I'm talking to myself here.
Dr. Kelly Culver:Absolutely.
Asef Quader:What is your KQ set at, and what percentage of that is given to your husband?
Jenn Quader:One hundred percent to my husband. Of course.
Dr. Kelly Culver:Had to weave yourself in there, didn't you?
Asef Quader:Yeah. I love it.
Jenn Quader:You know,
Asef Quader:what a
Jenn Quader:great question. I, my KQ I I do think my KQ is set pretty solidly at seventy thirty is is kinda how I roll. However, when I'm doing artistic endeavors, like I'm, Asif mentioned, I'm putting out a vocal jazz album, which I'm very excited about. Those types of things, it goes way up to, like, ninety ten. Mhmm.
Jenn Quader:Because the the more artistic I need to be, the more the more I need the energy to flow through me in a purer way, the less I want it kind of tainted by other people's ideas and things like that. I think that in marriage, marriage is an interesting study. I think you could write a whole book on KQ and marriage, and and maybe we can do a whole separate episode on KQ and marriage because I really think that it's actually it's an important lens to look through. It's not one I've When I think about KQ, I think about it as my internal voice versus or juxtaposed against everything that is external. So the Internet, the people I know, the you know?
Jenn Quader:But there's a case for looking at that just through a marital lens and and coming up with places that say you know? And and coming up with a vernacular that says, hey. Where are we on our KQ right now? You know? Like, because one of the biggest things I've seen in my marriage and, baby, how long have we been married?
Jenn Quader:Fifteen? How many years?
Asef Quader:It feels like a thousand, but, yeah, probably fifteen.
Jenn Quader:I get I'm not good with numbers, guys. This is not a number. But, you know, during that, I think that had I had this tool to use, it may have really helped me communicate better with you in certain times. Because without the tool, it's hard for me to say the the only thing I can say is I disagree. Right?
Jenn Quader:I don't feel the same. I disagree. Well, disagree, all of a sudden, we're not aligned, and now we're having an argument. But if I could instead say, you know, my my KQI is feel my my inner KQ is feeling like it's getting pushed down by this. Let's talk you know, I'm making this up as though I can do it right now, and I can't.
Jenn Quader:But I I think there's a case for for looking at this through a marital or a relationship lens, and maybe ironing out just ways to talk about it together because it's gonna be ever flowing. Right? It's gonna change all the time.
Asef Quader:Well, I think this has been fantastic. I think KQ has a place in our toolkits, and we need to extrapolate a lot of stuff from Jen Quater on this to add Am I right here, doctor Kelly? Oh, you are absolutely
Dr. Kelly Culver:right. This is this is gonna be you know, it it it's its own drawer in the toolkit.
Jenn Quader:I'm delighted to say also that I am also working on a book that is related to the KQ concept. It will be called confidently walking in the wrong direction. It's we're still in the development phase, but that's coming as well. So I I do want the listeners to know that this is a concept that is still really being, fleshed out and and and grown into. So if there are any questions, you know, feel free to contact us.
Jenn Quader:We have a a website, resiliencythepodcast.com. We'd love to hear them. You know, anything you think we could explore further because, as we've talked about, resilience is is a an ever going momentum, and this knowledge quotient will continue to be poked at, prodded at, and developed.
Dr. Kelly Culver:It's an evolution in progress, and that's
Jenn Quader:amen. Yep. Is it rapid fire time, you guys? Hold on. Is it rapid fire
Dr. Kelly Culver:time? Is. Okay. So come on. Sit back.
Dr. Kelly Culver:Take a deep breath. Alright. Alright. You ready?
Asef Quader:I have
Jenn Quader:to perform well. I'm a host. You know what I mean? I've gotta do an a performance, guys. How's the hair?
Jenn Quader:Come on. Is it alright? Mhmm. For those who don't know, the hair really dictates whether or not it's gonna be a good podcast day or not. So today, she was a little fluffy, but but we made it.
Asef Quader:We're we're here. We're here
Jenn Quader:and ready. I'm here I'm ready to rapid fire.
Dr. Kelly Culver:Okay.
Asef Quader:I still don't know what hair is.
Dr. Kelly Culver:That mind sparkles. So what is your favorite movie or TV show that makes you feel resilient?
Jenn Quader:Jen. Guys, we are gonna start we're gonna kick right into my nerd my nerd factor here. And it's not like cool nerd. Okay? Because cool nerds like Star Wars, but I am not a cool nerd.
Jenn Quader:So my favorite movie that I love that reminds me of resilience is called Center Stage. It is a I'm not gonna say poorly acted movie. That's not what I'm gonna say. Those people work their little bateucers off. But it is a movie that is about a dancer.
Jenn Quader:She goes to her little dance school. There's a lot of drama that ensues. But, boy, at the very end, she takes the starring role in the middle, and she does more fouette turns than anyone you have ever seen fouette turn. And let me tell you as a dancer, a fouette turn is not easy to execute. So I love center stage.
Jenn Quader:When she gets out there and does her fuertes, I'm like, turn it, girl. That's how resilience works. Center stage.
Dr. Kelly Culver:Okay. And what's the song you're singing in your head when you're watching Center Stage that makes you feel resilient?
Jenn Quader:You know what? My song now I gotta be honest. I can't can't listen to it when I'm watching Center Stage. It's got its own music. But my my resilience theme song, if you will, is You Can't Hurry Love by The Supremes.
Jenn Quader:I love that song with all my heart because, first, it has this driving beat that makes you wanna wake up. But then, secondly, it reminds you that you can't hurry love. And love is not just like finding a partner. It's not like being married. Love is the positivity of life.
Jenn Quader:Love is everything being as you want it to be, and you can't hurry it, my mama said, is what the lyrics say. So I I it it reminds me that I need to enjoy today and that love is always here and it's always coming, but I don't need to hurry and I don't need to run because it's coming. It's here.
Dr. Kelly Culver:You know, that reminds me of the solo segue. So, you know, you know one of my favorite groups is Chicago. And they, they sing there's a line in one of their songs that's good things in life take a long time. You can't hurry long. Right?
Dr. Kelly Culver:Yeah. Amen. What's the last thing that made you laugh out loud, silly laugh?
Jenn Quader:Because this one was the hardest for me because I didn't know. The truth is it's this podcast. Like, I was trying to think of a fun story I could tell, but the truth is this there have been more laughs that have come out of this adventure. And I think that what I would like to say about that with regard to resilience and to community and to life and enjoying it is, like, if you are thinking about doing something like this, just do it. All you have to do is get the software and put good people together and start talking.
Jenn Quader:I have never laughed so much as when the three of us are on and we have a technical error and we're trying to move and I've changed my top and you know? Like, it's it's so fun to be elbow deep in kind of creative, silly putty with everybody, and it just makes for a laugh filled environment. So I gotta I gotta credit the podcast with that.
Asef Quader:As a as a producer, that makes me laugh really, really hard when that happens. Really hard.
Dr. Kelly Culver:Yeah. He's pulling his not hair out of his head, actually. That's what you can't see
Jenn Quader:right now.
Asef Quader:Two months ago, I had beautiful wavy hair.
Dr. Kelly Culver:Yeah. Yeah, now look at him.
Jenn Quader:It was the podcast that took it.
Dr. Kelly Culver:So what is the last thing I have for you is what is one question you'd like to leave for future guests?
Jenn Quader:The question is, describe for me how your life looks in ten years. Describe for me how your life looks in ten years. It's built on a question that I always ask. My friend Clifton and I always play this game called the question game. And I always ask, what will your life look like in ten years?
Jenn Quader:But I think that's a that's a pressure in that question. Oh, what will it be? What will I achieve? But if I say instead, describe for me what you see in your life, you know, what what are the things you see and feel? And I I find forward visualization to be a really important tool.
Jenn Quader:So I'd be interested to see what our what our future guests might say about that.
Dr. Kelly Culver:I love it.
Asef Quader:Well, we have a question here from a past guest for you. In a hundred years, what do you want the world to remember you for?
Jenn Quader:She had a voice. That's really it. I don't need to change the world. I am an instrument of the energy that runs through me. Right?
Jenn Quader:I I believe I know where that comes from, but everybody has their own interpretation of where that energy comes from, and it's it's right for them. But I am that energy. So if if people were to remember that I was an instrument for good, positive energy to come through and they remembered me as a voice, whether that's a singer or a writer or a communicator, I would be delighted and honored, and I would feel that I had hit my purpose.
Asef Quader:That's great. Thank you, Jen. That was beautiful.
Dr. Kelly Culver:I love it.
Asef Quader:We had a great conversation today. All our listeners will be happy to know that I'll be gone in the next episode, and our regular host will be back. I won't butcher as much as I typically do on these shows when you drag me to do this. I appreciate and love you both, but hopefully this is the last one of these that I'm doing. I love you.
Asef Quader:I'm joking.
Jenn Quader:We don't think so. You got the job, mister Quater.
Asef Quader:Oh, boy. I'm glad. There was one applicant. Jen, where can people find you?
Jenn Quader:Please look for me online. You can find me, on social media channels at JenQuader.com. That's j e n n q u a d e r. You can find me at Jenquader.com also, my own little website, and you can find my company at thesmartagency.com.
Asef Quader:Thank you to our listeners. We really appreciate you listening today. Please like the show today. Please subscribe to the show. We love and really respect each and every one of you.
Asef Quader:We're trying to build a community for resiliency, and you are a part of it. We want you to be a part of it. Please go to our website, resiliencythepodcast.com. You'll find all the information on our shows. You'll find our tool kit, past shows, future shows, everything you need to know about Resiliency the podcast.
Asef Quader:You can find doctor Kelly Culver at the Culver Group pardon me, not the. Www.CulverGroup.ca. That is c a because she is the princess of Canada.
Jenn Quader:True. True statement.
Asef Quader:You can also find doctor Kelly at doctor kelly culver Com, or pardon me, at at doctor kelly culver, on LinkedIn and Instagram. You can find myself, Osif Quader, at Osif Quader, a s e f q u a d e r, on pretty much all the socials. Instagram is where I do most of my stuff, where you're gonna find a lot of nonsense. We thank you for listening. We wish you love and resilience throughout your week.
Asef Quader:Please come back next week. We'll have another brilliant show for you. Much love. Stay strong. Stay resilient.
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