Resiliency The Podcast

Jenn Quader (00:05)
Welcome to Resiliency, the podcast. Today's guest is the embodiment of resilience, not as a buzzword, but as a lived and fought for reality. At just 19 years old and only two weeks into her sophomore year of college, her life took an unexpected turn when she was diagnosed with aplastic anemia and PNH. In a matter of days,

She went from chasing academic goals and future dreams to spending countless hours in hospitals, undergoing intense treatments, and in need of a bone marrow transplant. And our guest faced another devastating reality. As an African-American woman, the odds of finding a match were drastically lower. This didn't just impact her personally, it awakened a deeper calling within her.

rather than allowing her diagnosis to define her own limits, today's guest turned her pain into purpose. She went on to form a nonprofit dedicated to supporting blood disorder patients with financial hardships and has helped register hundreds of potential bone marrow donors directly contributing to life-saving matches.

She is a blood disorder educator, a TEDx speaker, a writer and host of a podcast called Life We Were Given. We are so honored to have today Miss Brandy Lewis. Welcome, Brandy.

Brandi Lewis (01:27)
⁓ thank you so much. I love that bio. I may have to steal that from you all. That's so good. Thank you all.

Jenn Quader (01:34)
Well, it's yours and you earned it.

Brandi Lewis (01:37)
Yeah, yeah, through the resiliency. It's true. Yeah, very true. Well, thank you for having

Dr Kelly Culver (01:40)
You have really earned it

and we've got so much to learn from you and Jenn was going through all of the things that you've been through and you've done. It's really quite extraordinary because you're young. Yeah, you're very young. So let's talk about resilience. Let's dive in right away and tell us what does resiliency mean to you?

Brandi Lewis (01:52)
Yeah, yeah, well thank you, thank you, yeah.

Yeah, resilience to me, it's a different components into one. think resilience, one thing is really fighting through the hard times in life. And that comes with not just battling it mentally, but socially, physically. I feel like whenever you're going through anything, the way to be resilient is...

you're battling it from those three components. And it really takes all three of those in order to make it through something as tough as being diagnosed with rare blood disorders, yeah.

Jenn Quader (02:37)
as Dr. Kelly said, you are so young and you really were quite young. mean, two weeks into your sophomore year of college and here you are, that is the time when dreams are really blossoming and you're really trying to figure out what you're gonna be. And here you are diagnosed with something. wonder, like, who were you before?

if you could talk a little bit about that. And then did you ever experience this moment that said, do I have to do this? There's all these other people around me, why me?

Brandi Lewis (03:09)
Yeah, yeah, before my diagnosis and before 19 years old, I had all of these dreams and aspirations. I was the type that was like, I'm gonna climb the career ladder. I'm gonna go, go, go, I thought in order to be successful meant to run quick and to keep doing things and to tire yourself out. That's really what was my belief at that time. ⁓

So before 19, I really just had all these big dreams. I was studying at the University of North Alabama, a political science major. had dreams of becoming a lawyer. That was my dream at the time. so health was the last thing on my mind. I thought, oh, I'm fine. I was one of the ones that went to the doctor every year for just to check up a physical. And I went on my day.

But being diagnosed at 19, health became the forefront of my mind. And that is when that question of why me came in and why me for me, I think I was really more frustrated with being diagnosed at such a young age because on social media, all of my friends, I saw everything they were doing and I'm at home where I'm in the hospital and their days are filled with going to class, having...

fun with friends, going out, like having a great college experience and mine was halted. And so that was when that question of why me, why me out of all of these people that I've gone to college with, why am I the one that has to put that on pause and figure out my health in order to have somewhat of a normal life again? Yeah, I definitely went through that time.

Dr Kelly Culver (04:50)
put that on pause. You know, that's a really tough thing to do when you describe that you're like your forward momentum. Forward momentum means action, means doing, means achieving, means accomplishing, and you've got to put that stuff on pause at a time when, as Jenn has said, all of these dreams are right in front of you. You know, it's like which channel, which pathway could I go down?

Brandi Lewis (04:55)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Dr Kelly Culver (05:12)
And

you've just said the hospital visits, the watching what friends are doing. What did the pause, tough as it was, what did the pause teach you about comparison, about expectations, and redefining what is normal for you now?

Brandi Lewis (05:33)
Yeah, that pause taught me a lot. think in that pause moment, which was a long time, and like you said, it was tough, but that was really where I felt like I grew as an individual and I grew up pretty quickly in life. You know, being 19, the last thing on our mind is, you know, what is our future going to look like? You know, you don't have an eight to five year go into at 19, you know, just to put into perspective. So for me, I grew up very quickly in life and

The reason that I mentioned before being 19 and thinking that go, go, fast, fast, fast. One of the main things that I learned was how rest is important. yes, it's great to want to succeed. It's great to want to climb the career ladder. It's great to have those things, but you can't have those things if your health is not where it needs to be, or you're not understanding how to sit down.

pause, take a minute and not think that that is wasted time. So that was really one of the main lessons I learned is I call it the art of rest. I feel like I've learned the art of rest and how to rest and just really take time for me and take that time that I really need. Another thing that I really learned, I found my passion through all of this. ⁓ Once I found out that I was diagnosed with rare blood disorders,

That word rare meant that you weren't able to find a lot of information online about it. ⁓ There weren't that many of us that were diagnosed with it. So when I was diagnosed, they were still trying to figure out what are these blood disorders? What do they come having that in the back of my mind of this is rare, this is hard, how was I going to...

take this and make it something else. And so with that, I founded a nonprofit when I was actually sick myself and because I saw such a need and that was one of the things that I learned through my journey is there are so many more people, like life is so much bigger than just us. There are so many people out there that we can learn from, that we can help. Like we're all really on this earth in order to help each other. And I learned that because of the bone marrow transplanting.

One of the cures for, well, the only cure for my blood disorders is a bone marrow transplant. And in order to get that, you have to find a match on the registry. Well, being of African-American descent, it's hard to find a match because so few of us actually registered to be a donor on the registry. And that was where I just got this light bulb of there's so many ways to help, not just myself, that I want to help other people.

⁓ And through that, we were able to host tons of Bomiara drives ⁓ and sign up so many people on the registry. And I love the story because it's really not about me. It's just it shows how we're able to help other people, because through that, I was able to I've gotten a call from three people that signed up at registries of mine that actually were matches and said yes to save other people's lives. So it just really shows how we're really here on this earth to help each other. Yeah.

Jenn Quader (08:48)
Brandi, that's amazing. mean, the fact that your effort led to, I mean, you've saved lives, like truly saved lives. a lot to unpack in that. wanna call first to the art of rest. ⁓ I'll mention to you that we had a guest early on. She was one of our Artedek speakers. Her name was Alexis Jeffries, and she spoke to rest as resilience and how important that is. So there's a through line there for our audience.

Brandi Lewis (08:50)
Yeah.

Yeah,

Hmm.

Jenn Quader (09:15)
I find it so interesting though in your perspective of this, of rest as resilience, that you called it the art of it. Because art is something you create. Art is something like resilience that is not static. It is constantly moving. It is a story. is an expression. And so ⁓ I find that really the other thing that really strikes me here is the...

Brandi Lewis (09:22)
Yeah.

Jenn Quader (09:40)
I'm gonna call it the systemic problem. And I think it is a systemic problem because it is not only in blood disorders, that there is a lack of diverse data and information that can truly inform our scientific work. And so in your case, here you are with this rare blood disease. It's already rare because you're a kid and none of the other kids around you have this, but now you can't find a match. What I wanna understand is, A, like,

Brandi Lewis (09:59)
Yeah, exactly.

Jenn Quader (10:09)
I could imagine that someone could look at that problem and say, that's way too big. How in the world will I do What drove you to actually find a way through the rest, which you were being forced to take, what drove you to go in and actually do something? then as you reflect back on it, what has that done for you?

Brandi Lewis (10:20)
Yep.

Yeah, what drove me to do it was just seeing that there was this gap. There was this missing piece. You have patients that are diagnosed that are minorities mainly that can't find people in the registry. You don't have enough people on the registry. So I'm like, how can we not try and fill this gap? It was just something that really, honestly, I didn't give second thought to, and I'm glad I didn't because I can talk myself out of anything.

And it was just something that I just said, you know what, I'm just gonna do it. I'm going to register 501C3 and we'll figure it all out and we'll just go along with it. And ⁓ I'm glad that I did that. And you know, I think it's cool to say that I saved lives, but I love to remind people that I was just a small piece in their story. I just did something that I thought was needed and that helped. Like I'm a small piece in...

somebody actually signing up on the registry understanding what it means to donate, you know, there's so many more pieces to it. I'm just thankful that I said yes to the passion and this gap that I saw there in order to help people out there. Yeah. And as I reflect back on it, I, it's just such a cool story. Like it's something that I am very proud of through everything that I've done, you know, TEDx talks, all of my accomplishments. I will say that is probably my

most just praised and one that I'm proud of for myself of doing because all of us can let fear talk us out of anything. We can doubt ourselves of who would want to come to my registry and donate and sign up. So I'm just, thankful to just take the risk, ⁓ not let doubt or fear stop me and really just keep trying to help as many people I can in the world. Yeah.

Jenn Quader (12:25)
It's beautiful and you're right, it is the whole story, but it's also these little pieces. It's your own bravery in stepping up and doing it. ⁓ Were there, okay, again, I'm gonna draw this for our audience to remember, like here is Brandy, is, from what I understand, hooked to an IV for 12 hours a day, is what I understand. And so here you are, hooked to this IV.

surviving, learning like, I may not survive if I don't find a match, and then taking that energy through yourself and sharing it with the world. Were there, and you also mentioned like if you had stopped to think you might've stopped yourself, you but you did it because the passion was there. My question is, were there moments you might have stopped? Were there obstacles that you hit that, because all of us, when we start something, a lot of us don't finish it all. So,

Brandi Lewis (13:05)
Mm-hmm.

Jenn Quader (13:20)
Were there obstacles and if so, what were they in general sense and how did you go through them knowing that here you are attached to an IV for 12 hours? Like how did you move through those obstacles?

Brandi Lewis (13:32)
Yeah, I'd say one big obstacle was really the financial part of it. You know, it's cool to say yes to something, but in order to make action, most of the times you need that financial backing and you need people to understand that this is an important cause. And yes, it's important to, it was important to me, but how do I show that to other people in order to financially help me do this? ⁓ I'll say that was a barrier, but

It's so cool, the, the, where I'm from, I had an amazing community around me that supported me and my family during this time. You know, my mom worked at the local middle school. So like we knew a lot of people in our community. And that was really where I started to get ⁓ financial backing. And I was very appreciative and thankful for that. Cause I didn't know where to start. But they really helped me feel like, okay, if they're giving my

if they're giving their own hardworking money to this, they believe in it as much as I do. And so that really fueled me to just keep moving forward, you know, sending out those letters where you get rejection letters of, we're not interested in this right now. But it really fueled me to keep going because it wasn't only a thought in my own mind that this was something that was needed, but other people through my own story saw that this was a gap as well. So.

That helped a lot. ⁓ I'll say another barrier was really finding the patients. It's rare, you know, so you have a hard time finding patients in the beginning of who, where are these people? I know I'm one of the ones, but is there anybody else in my state? Is there anybody else in states right around me? Like, where do I go to find these patients? And once I found them, that community grew and grew and grew, which I loved.

But that was a barrier in the beginning, just because it is so rare, not that many of us have been diagnosed with this. How do I find those patients and where do I go? So I was able to also partner with other nonprofits, AANMDS Foundation for one of them that was very just, we partnered together on different things, helping find patients and really just moving the needle forward together and collaborating.

Jenn Quader (15:53)
I wanna ask one more thing and I know Dr. Kelly's got some burning questions also, but I'm struck by this, which is I myself am a go, go, go, fast, fast, fast person. So when you talk about who you were before this diagnosis, girl, we can go together, because I wanna go fast. And yet, then you talk about the stillness that is necessary. And then you talk about... ⁓

Brandi Lewis (16:11)
Yep, yep.

Jenn Quader (16:20)
the difficulty of finding patients. And I wanna give a little context. So for example, our company at one point worked chapter or a division of the University of California at Irvine, and they have a group called UCI Mind, and it's focused on Alzheimer's research. So different than rare blood disorders, but focused on Alzheimer's research and facing almost the same problems. The problems of no data on the African-American community or really any other people of color.

Brandi Lewis (16:42)
Wow.

Jenn Quader (16:47)
and also difficulty finding patients who will take part. So I wanna kind of say, when I say this is systemic, I mean really systemic, this is affecting those with rare blood disorders, those with Alzheimer's, those with any and all medical. So what I'm painting this picture of is, boy, what a big challenge we have faced, that we're facing. Then we have a go, go, go personality that is put into stillness. And I wanna ask in a very, as genuine as I can,

Brandi Lewis (16:59)
Yep.

Jenn Quader (17:15)
How'd you do it? Like, did you break down your days? Did you time block? where did you find focus? Where did you find stillness? How did you do that balancing act?

Brandi Lewis (17:25)
Yeah,

so during this time I took medical leave from school so I had nothing but time which was really good. So I had time to dedicate to the rest. I had time to dedicate to my nonprofit building it. I had time to dedicate to my family and all of that. So yeah, doing it was really just sitting down. I'm a list person too. Sitting down writing the list. Okay, what are the main factors that have to happen for this to be?

somewhat successful. Like, where do I start? A lot of research online. And this was before AI and, you know, all of that. So, you know, I'm researching more on my own, really reaching out to, like I said, other communities, really just figuring out what is success for me out of this nonprofit? And it was financially helping blood disorder patients.

And the second was registering as many people as I could on the bone marrow registry. If they didn't register, at least let them leave with more knowledge of knowing what it means to be a donor. Those were our things. So partnering with Be The Match, they were great. I partnered with them all around Alabama. We went to different colleges. I would speak to all these college students because they are the healthiest. They're really the ones that we're really after. ⁓ So I would really just schedule it out, dedicate time.

And if there were days where I needed to cancel or back off, I listened to my body. That was the other main thing was really understanding my body saying today, you cannot do anything. You're going to be in bed watching Netflix with some ice cream and that is going to be it. But listening to my body during those times and actually adhering to what my body was asking me to do, that really helped.

Dr Kelly Culver (19:13)
You know, you made me laugh ⁓ inside, not out loud, when you said it was difficult to find the patients. I'm hearing P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E, which was not what you meant. Right? I'm thinking, yeah, OK, so she's sitting in the stillness, and then she's doing this. So that's funny. So.

Brandi Lewis (19:17)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. That's so funny.

Yeah, that is funny.

Dr Kelly Culver (19:42)
With that in mind, being a P-A-T-I-E-N-T, part of your story you experienced a relapse in 2014, several years after your initial diagnosis.

Can you tell us, was your resilience that you found that was within you, did it change the second time around? Did you, you know, did bounce back look different? What was that, what did that mean to you? And did you have to use P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E? ⁓

Brandi Lewis (20:14)
I

Yeah, definitely have to use a lot of patience within it. So the second time around I always say was tougher than the first because I knew what I was facing and it's hard to face something when you know the battle ahead. I knew the road. I knew my options. I knew what they were and I remember getting that. I just went in for six week checkup or six month checkup, excuse me, with my doctor and

I was just expecting another healthy report, go back to work, because I started working at that time. And it's funny because my patient, I graduated with her daughter, so ⁓ she came in crying. She saw the blood counts before me and we just had that type of relationship and I knew it was back. And I remember sitting in my car in the parking deck sobbing because I knew what I was facing.

But what I decided to do was I found out on a Friday and I called my mom, course frantic, told her about it, got home, talked to my parents about it. And I said, give me the weekend to sob, sit with my feelings, cry it out. I want to be as dramatic as possible. Let's eat all the pizza, the ice cream, the French fries. Like, let's just do it all. And I said, if you give me the weekend to fight.

I will get up Monday and I will start my fight again. But I needed that. And that I say because it is so important. Like I said before that, I was such a go-go-go-getter. By this time, I had learned how to rest. I had learned how to listen to my body. And I learned the importance of sitting with those feelings and not just pushing them aside. So...

That weekend I did that. I watched all the TV shows, all the movies, and I really just sat inside and really just cried. I cried it out because I knew what I was going through. ⁓ And so that Monday morning we got up and we started our search again, went to different doctors trying to figure out, okay, is this still the best treatment for me this time around? Do I look for a bone marrow transplant again? Because the first time I couldn't find one.

so we went down that road, but it took a lot of patience going down that road again. And really patience of getting second opinions and the importance of not just going with your first doctor's decision, not saying that they're wrong, but get a second opinion. Talk to another doctor. Travel if you want to do that. I traveled to Georgia. My doctor actually ended up being in New York. So we were very

big on finding the right doctor for us. And that took a lot of patience. It took a lot of, it's funny because you kind of are like interviewing these doctors of how they're going to treat you. really like an interview process. And of course they're very smart and they can tell you what they'll do for you around medication. my big thing on top of that was do our personalities match?

Like, am I okay with this person? Because you're trusting them with your life. Am I okay with trusting them with what they're saying I need to do? So I just went down the entire road, but that took around, I'd say two to three months of really finding the right doctor. Like I said, we traveled also, making sure we were asking the right questions when we went in and deciding on the right treatment. So.

That was really the main things for me, but I took that time and I really felt all the feelings before, before starting again, yeah.

Jenn Quader (24:06)
think there's nothing more resilient than the image of you during that weekend on that couch, watching that TV, eating the pizza and the fries. Because to me, this reflects such an important piece of what we talk about here at Resiliency, the podcast, which is that resilience does not look like one thing. A lot of people have this perception that resilience looks like strength. It looks like grit. That is only one part of it. It is the ability to move through. And when I hear you say...

Brandi Lewis (24:12)
Ha ha.

Yeah.

Jenn Quader (24:34)
I gave my body what it needed. It needed a weekend to cry. What's happening is you're honoring what you need. You're honoring your own body. And I think sometimes we get into these, especially when it comes to our health, we get into these moments where we are fighting with our body. You go through and you're mad. You're mad that my, in your case, that your blood has this issue. And when you start fighting with your body, you can't get to a resolution. So I love that.

Brandi Lewis (24:50)
Mm-hmm.

Jenn Quader (25:02)
what you're doing is showing us in real time, hey, resilience looks like up and down, but it looks like listening. It looks like listening to yourself and staying close to that. The second part though that I think we can definitely look at, and I think we should look at, because I think it's an important piece of the puzzle, is that advocacy for yourself. And this is something Dr. Kelly and I know a lot about. ⁓ I myself, Asef who you met, my husband, ⁓ he went through cancer and through a bone marrow transplant.

Brandi Lewis (25:11)
Yeah.

Jenn Quader (25:28)
Dr. Kelly went through a wonderful spouse who went through a cancer journey. And so we both really have firsthand understand that you have to be an advocate for yourself. You cannot become just a cog in the system. You have to choose. So what I want to ask you in a really true way, Brandy, is here you are. You're interviewing doctors. You're being an advocate for yourself. But you are within a system that is unequitable, right? As far as information and data.

Brandi Lewis (25:38)
Mm-hmm.

Jenn Quader (25:56)
Everything you've said to me thus far has been very inspirational and motivational and beautiful. Did you ever get really pissed that this wasn't available? Can you tell me a little bit about those feelings and that thought and that drive?

Brandi Lewis (26:05)
yeah.

yeah, yeah, there were times where me, my parents were my caregivers. I really left the research up to them online because you you read things and then you start getting in this mental picture and you're like, I think I have this. And so I wanted to only listen to my doctors for that. But we were very frustrated in the beginning because

there was just not a lot of data out there. It was like, I'm diagnosed with what? And the question for us was how? Like, is this in our family? And so my parents start thinking back to their parents and great-grandparents, like, how did we even come down to this road? So yeah, there was a lot of moments where I was frustrated trying to find the right doctor.

Frustration around, I lived at home with my parents. So for me, I felt like I was just another thing on their plate financially. I dealt with that for sure. ⁓ Living at home, thankfully I was able to save money, but my parents were the ones caring for me. I was getting gas money from them and just trying whenever I wanted to go out and try and just be normal, like they were paying for my meals. I wasn't working, I couldn't.

So you feel like you're kind of, in some ways you feel like you're just a barrier or just really not there to help, you're just there and they only can help you. So I went through those times for sure where I was frustrated just around what my life had become and it becoming something that I never thought it would be. And I think that is what made me want to keep moving forward and finding

a way to help other people because my life, I couldn't stay in that mental state. If I would have stayed there, I don't think I would have accomplished anything at that time. But that really drove me to say, I've got to get out of this mental state. How am I going to take this and help other people? Yeah.

Jenn Quader (28:18)
there is a moment where you do begin to feel like maybe you're a burden because you must be taken care of. And there's a lot that comes with that. What I see in the other side of that, though, and it's something that to me you transmuted into your journey forward to help others, is that you were learning to receive.

Like you received your parents' kindness and compassion. You received the compassion of your community and you let that go through you and then you were able to, again, to transmute that into something that is forward momentum, that is truly resilient. So I'm interested in what's next for Brandy. You you've told us so much, but where does the narrative go from here? What do you see as the biggest items to tackle in the future of your nonprofit and in the future of your health journey?

Brandi Lewis (29:05)
Yeah, so for me moving forward, founded my own podcast called The Life We're Given. It is like your podcast where I bring on guests to talk about resilient stories of things they've been through in their life. And it's really there again to help other people. I think there's no greater way of helping somebody of telling what you've been through because we've all been in those lonely states.

And funny enough on my podcast, I always ask one question at the end to like sum up what we've talked about. Most of the time, most of my guests are saying, you are seen, you are heard. And it's just, it like makes me want to like go down this data road of where is this coming from? Because I am getting that most often at the end of my episodes is showing people that I see you. I've been there.

I'm telling you my story because I want you to know that you're not alone in this journey. And that I think is just the most beautiful thing. So for me, that's really the road that I'm headed down now is ⁓ I've had my podcast for like seven, eight months now. Again, just the risk that I took and was like, if I think further, I will never do this. So let's just start it. But it's been just very awesome. I've also had my parents, my sisters on my podcast one by one.

And because after you've been diagnosed with something, me and my family are very close. So you're not the only one that goes through it. Your parents do, your sisters do. So having them on one by one, I've been able to also talk about how they were feeling during that time, getting the sibling story, because you don't get that all the time of how they went through it or the caregivers or your parents' story. So.

It's just been very eye-opening and just very rewarding to do that. So that's my plan. Do more speaking events down the road. Have my podcast. I would love to be a full-time podcaster. That is my hope and plan, yeah.

Jenn Quader (31:09)
Go,

Brandi, go. I'll encourage our listeners to tune into The Life We Were Given. I assume it's on all the podcast platforms, right? Yes, excellent. I want to comment again before I turn it over for some fun with Dr. You said something that really touched me, and I just want to kind of make a comment and see if both of you might have thoughts on this. But you said at the end of your episodes of The Life We Were Given, you're hearing a lot of, well, I feel seen and I feel heard.

Brandi Lewis (31:14)
Please.

Yes, yes it is.

Jenn Quader (31:37)
I personally believe, I think as a humanity, as a human race, we have never been more visible and less heard. Each of us has these platforms through which people are frankly shouting. They are shouting as much as they can by posting video after video and they're wanting to share something. And I just, want to bring up the importance of conversations like these. And I want to just say something really head on.

Brandi Lewis (31:46)
Mmm.

Jenn Quader (32:04)
I was chatting with a friend last night, and we were chatting about this forum, Resiliency the Podcast, and we were talking about viewership or impressions, number of listeners, those types of things. And I said, look, we watch those things. Those things are continuing to grow. But there are ways to increase that. And my example to my friend who is writing a book was, you could come to me and say, hey, I'm going to release my book, and I would like to get as many eyes on it as possible. And I would say, well, if you want to get as many eyes on it as possible,

then release it in draft form and then pretend it was a mistake. Cause that will actually get more eyes. It'll be more effective. But is it what you want? Is it the story? And this is where I say we must protect these safe spaces. The space that is resiliency, the podcast, the space that is the life we were given. The space that is these places for story, for your sisters, for your family to share because...

Brandi Lewis (32:37)
⁓ wow.

True.

Jenn Quader (33:00)
It is in these rooms that power is happening and the world would like us to believe that, well, if you don't have a million followers, it's not a value, but that's not the truth. And so I'm interested. Thoughts, Brandy, Dr. Kelly.

Brandi Lewis (33:14)
I mean, you hit it head on for me. That's my thing. Like I look at the numbers of my podcast of, you know, I get an email every week of how many people have viewed it this week, but I don't want to focus on that because I'm like you. These conversations are crucial. No matter the views, no matter how many people like my podcast post on Instagram, I think the conversations are crucial. They're sacred. ⁓ And I think it's brave for anybody to come forward on a platform.

and tell their story for other people. So I'm with you 100%, yeah.

Dr Kelly Culver (33:50)
Well, you know me, I live a pretty private life and I could care less about numbers and data and statistics and hits. I just don't give a damn. I never have and I never will. So it's not a driver. It's not a driver for me. And, you know, so it's kind of funny because there is a real insistence that we live a public life, you know, that people know everything about you before they engage.

Brandi Lewis (33:54)
Yeah.

Yep.

Dr Kelly Culver (34:19)
with you or for any other work that I do, I want to know who you are before we start to work together, those kinds of things. But I think what happens is, this is little lecture, what happens is you take away the mystery of who the other person is. And so the more you know about someone before you ever meet them.

the less curious you are to engage with them when you're actually standing face to face with them because you think you know there is everything that there is to know about them and you're living your life vicariously through them. And I think that that takes away a bit of an element of mystery of engaging with the person who's there across the table from you. I mean we're humans, we're hardwired to be social and to work together and to want to be together. But it doesn't mean that you need to share all of the things that you're doing with your life or that you need all of these numbers.

to make you relevant.

Brandi Lewis (35:17)
Yeah, I love it. That's a TEDx

talk right there.

Jenn Quader (35:24)
Yes

With that, Dr. Kelly, would you like to take us into the rapid resilience fire questions?

Brandi Lewis (35:29)
You

Dr Kelly Culver (35:31)
Alright, okay, so what's your favorite movie or TV show that makes you feel resilient?

Brandi Lewis (35:38)
It would be The Pursuit of Happiness. Love that movie. Sad but wonderful. Yes, yes. Such a resilient movie from beginning to end. Yeah, love that movie.

Jenn Quader (35:45)
Sad but wonderful.

Dr Kelly Culver (35:54)
Excellent choice. Now what about a song that makes you feel resilient?

Brandi Lewis (36:00)
A song would be Oceans by Hillsong for sure. Yeah. I've listened to that for so many years. Yeah. Yeah, that would be it.

Dr Kelly Culver (36:09)
And what's something that's made you laugh out loud, crazy laugh out loud lately?

Brandi Lewis (36:16)
I would have to say I have a cute little nephew. He's made me an auntie and he is the silly, I was just on FaceTime with him. He is the silliest little one-year-old boy ever with a lot of spunk and he is just, we always say he's full of joy. So he is just always doing something to make all of us laugh. So yeah, being on FaceTime with him anytime.

Dr Kelly Culver (36:38)
Jenn and I are both aunties and we understand exactly what you've just said. Like you can't make it up. I know you can't make up what they do and what they say. It's just like it's a breath of like it's a gift from the universe. It truly is. ⁓ Of course you do. That's your job. That's your job. Yes. Get him into trouble and mischief. So.

Brandi Lewis (36:41)
Yes, it's such a good thing.

It is, my sister's like, you ral him up every time you get on FaceTime. Like that's, that's what I'm here to do. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly.

Jenn Quader (37:01)
That's why aunties exist. Oh, kids are a joy

and they bring it. Love it.

Brandi Lewis (37:07)
They are.

Dr Kelly Culver (37:09)
Well, they give us perspective too, don't they? Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously, and we need to see ourselves through the eyes of a child. Let me get a little serious. What's a question you would like to leave for a future guest?

Brandi Lewis (37:11)
Mm-hmm, we do.

Jenn Quader (37:12)
Mm-hmm.

Brandi Lewis (37:25)
The question that I would leave a future guest is when we talk about resilience, we only talk about or we mainly focus on us, but how has your community or somebody in your life been a part of that resilient journey for you?

It takes a community, takes a team.

Jenn Quader (37:48)
And is enriched by it. I think that's hugely important. I think we talk a lot about the power of communal resilience and you've shown us that not only in your family, you know, taking care of you, but also in the community you have paid forward through your nonprofit and through all of

Brandi, I have a question for you that was left via a former guest here at Resiliency, the podcast. So the question is, often when we talk about resiliency, it's very much an internal personal experience. But when is resiliency a group effort?

Brandi Lewis (38:22)
I think resiliency is a group effort when you have your community around you that supports you. For me, the word rare in rare blood disorders made me instantly feel alone just hearing that word rare. So what I wanted to do was I had to find somebody out there. There's I'm like, there's no way I am one of a million people that have this. so finding that community helped with my resilience because I felt less alone.

And in feeling less alone in anything, you feel like, okay, if they can do it, hearing their story, okay, I can do this too. ⁓ I remember going to a group thing where we all got to get together. And so me and my parents went and I met this lady that was older than me. She was like in her fifties at the time. And she was telling me about her battle of battling rare blood disorders.

and how she had been on the journey for years. And that lady helped me know, okay, if she can do this for years and be at her age, I can too. Being younger, the first thing on my mind was how many days do I have left? Like, how am I going to do this? What does the future look like for me? And then hearing that story helped me want to keep moving forward. So that community really helps with resilience, yeah.

Jenn Quader (39:42)
So beautiful and so ties back to what we were talking about, which is just the value of this safe space storytelling, the value of being able to, because if that woman had never shared with you her journey, you wouldn't be able to see yourself in it. And I think that that is so much of what life is about. it's just beautiful. Brandy, we want to hear more. We know that you are continuing on your journey. We know that you have a podcast. We know you have a nonprofit. Where can people find you, follow you, connect with you, and engage with the work you're doing?

Brandi Lewis (39:55)
Absolutely.

Yeah, so my podcast, The Life We're Given is on all podcast platforms. You can find it there. And then also I have a website, Brandylewis.com. That's Brandy with an I. Lewis.com and everything's on there as well. Yeah.

Jenn Quader (40:23)
Wonderful. Brandi, we thank you. For all of you listening, Brandi Lewis, all of her information will be in the show notes. Tune in, listen to her. And thank you. If you are listening and resilience is something that you're interested in, please like this episode, follow us on YouTube, keep tuning in. The Resiliency of the Podcast is the place for stories, strategies, and inspiration around how to embrace change, overcome challenges, and redefine resilience.

in today's ever evolving world. You can find me online, Jenn Quater, J-E-N-N-Q-U-A-D-E-R on all the socials or my company, The Smart Agency. Our brilliant co-host, Dr. Kelly Culver, find her at CulverGroup.ca or find her on Instagram or LinkedIn anywhere. All things she says, does, and thinks are brilliant. So if you can get her to share them with you, you're a lucky duck. Guys, thank you. We wish you resilience. We wish you strength. And beyond everything, as we've talked about today, we wish you community. Seek it out.

Brandi Lewis (41:09)
Thank

Jenn Quader (41:18)
Find that communal resilience. Stay strong and we look forward to seeing you on the next episode of Resiliency to Podcast. Bye.